I wasn't going to post this. But I find myself just mulling it over and over in my head. I was getting bugged at church yesterday. Don't get my wrong. I like the church that I go to. It's not the church that was bugging me. It's 2 men in the church.
Man #1 . I try and be nice to all. When I 1st started going to this church I smiled at all the people, shook hands and made friends. There is one guy ( He's single ) that took it the wrong way. He tried to be a "hugger" and I made that clear that I was not a "hugger" and kind of had to ignore him. Which made me feel guilty and I had not done anything wrong. Well this Sunday he sat next to me and I asked him how he was and 15 minutes later he's still telling me. This is where I feel that I'm lacking compassion. I don't think that people (men) should share that much information. I lose respect for men when they complain. It's one thing to say " I hurt my back and it sure is stiff" too 15 minutes about his doctor visit and his insulin and on and on. I now look at him as a wimp. I wanted to tell him to put on his big boy underwear and stop whining.
He kind of goes overboard in the compliments on the food that I bring in and wants to do the fist bump with me. What is up with that?!
Man #2. Our church has a group of men that have been in the system ( prison ) and our church has a out reach program for them ( That is a good thing) There is one man that has no job, no money and now no car as it broke down. He has asked me 3 weeks in a row now if he can bring a truck with a camper and stay on my property. I keep saying no and each week he keeps asking. This Sunday he told me that he didn't know what he was going to do at the end of this month as he still has no job and he's really needing a place to stay and could he stay in my garage? He would bring a travel trailer over and park it in the garage. I said no ( again ) I mean, come on! I don't know you, I live out in a rural area, I'm single and you just got out of prison. And you told me that you can't work at McDonald's due to that they have a play land. Get a clue! You are not coming to my home. I think that if he keeps on asking that I will have to go to the elders in the church and have them talk to him. I don't like being mean but I don't know what else too do.
Have you ever felt like that you are being put into a position that you don't want to be in?
2 weeks ago
First of all, it's not proper to ask a single woman if you can come and "live" at HER house...that's what churches are for! I think you certainly need to talk to the pastor or church elders.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, you shouldn't have to go to church and listen to a single man complaining about his life. This man needs to be complaining to his pastor or another male, not you! Good luck.
I agree whole heartedly. Whomever sponsors the prison/back to society program needs to be told about the man who keeps asking you that. There might be another lady more naive than you who would say yes and then get into trouble. The church or program administrators could be held liable for allowing an unsafe situation.
ReplyDeleteAmen sisters! I started to panic from just reading your post.
ReplyDeleteKrissy, you MUST let leadership know and make sure they do something about the situation. If he is not allowed to work at McDonald's because of playland, the sponsors, mentors or church leadership should be keeping an eye on this guy. You are very wise, I agree with Patty about the next women or girl being naive. Keep us posted.
Janice
Yikes! I agree with the others....talk to the staff at your church...both men are being inappropriate!
ReplyDeleteAnnie
I told you how I feel about it Monday night. I think you really should say something about their actions to an elder or someone else in authority at your church.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad about saying no, it is not being mean, it's being wise.
At a minimum someone in the church needs to be teaching the prison fellows what's social acceptable.. and teach them basic etiquette ... and to do that the elders/whoever is in charge needs to know about your encounters with these guys Krissy... It's obvious they don't know you very well or they wouldn't even be asking. Keep up the great decision making ! S dot
ReplyDeleteGive both of them some of those hard/overcooked cookies and tell them they are some of your best cooking - that should get 'em running!!!
ReplyDeleteWow Krissy, You BABE! You got them lining up.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad. They are trying to prey on your feelings when they should be PRAYING for some answers. :) Stay strong.
Yikes! Sorry they're making your uncomfortable. If your pastor can't help or his help is ineffective, I'll loan you my dispatcher attitude and you can politely give them the what-for and make it clear in no uncertain way that you aren't interested and that their behavior is inappropriate.
ReplyDeleteThe guy who complains is looking for a mommy figure. The other guy, well, he's just looking for someone to take advantage of.
In other words, they're both looking to prey on a woman in one form or another.
Frankly, they both need to be told to F*** off in a nicer way than I'm capable of.