What I learned before 7AM

Don't wear long johns to go feed the chickens. (Not that they chickens did anything, they are well behaved chickens.) No, it's when you lose some weight your long johns will fall to your knees while your trudging though knee deep snow, and you can't pull them up as you're caring two gallons of water, then the crotch of the long johns kind of act like a "scoop" and do not help, more like hinder or impede your step.

Then as a added bonus, they become very wet, so now you have heavy, wet long johns around your knees. When I got into the garage (That's where the coop is at) I set the two gallons of water down and hiked up the long johns, oh, the fun that I had pulling up wet cold long johns and going back to the house. This time I kept a hand on them to keep them up when I went back to the house.

I'm now in the house wearing sweats.

A mid week confession

Here is a cute picture of the kitties. Stop here if you don't want me to over share with you.

Okay. As most of you know, I'm single. And being single, when I'm done using the bathroom I always leave the toilet lid up. There is no reason to put it down. So, last night (This morning at 4am)
I got up and stumbled to the bathroom, did not turn on any lights and sat down. I had to pee really bad, by the time I was doing that I also realized that I was sitting on the lid, I tried to stop the "flow" and got up to lift the seat but it was to late, there was no stopping it! Lets just say that before I went back to bed I took a "mini" shower and I looked at the floor and said some choice words and pretty much decided then and there that I could clean that mess up later. Which I did. The floor mats are ready to come out of the dryer now.

Sunday Confession.

The truck that I had before this truck was a Dodge Dakota Sport. It had the extended cab. The back sliding window had been busted out twice. Once by my dog and the other time by, um, me.

When Abby was young, she thought that all moose where evil and it was her job to make them go away. I had the sliding window opened a few inches. Abby was barking at a moose and jumped from the front seat and tried to go out that window! Busted the window right out. I had to explain that one to the the car insurance company.

The second time I was loading my four wheeler (ATV) in to the back of my truck. I had only loaded it a few times and never by myself. I was up at the cabin property in the parking lot. There were other people in the parking lot loading up their stuff. I got out the ramp, hooked it up to the truck, made sure that I had a tie strap making the ramp secure to the truck. Put the spare tire up on end so that it would be a buffer between the four wheeler and back window.

It's a steep ramp so you have to give it plenty of gas, so I did, I got up in the back of the truck and hit the tire, (the tire had slipped down a bit) and bam! I had pushed the tire into the window. The back seat was full of safety glass. It was loud enough that people stopped to look at me, I acted all nonchalantly as they could not "see" what I had done, they just heard a noise.

I turned off the four wheeler, and pulled it back a bit, pulled the tire out of the window. Cleaned up the glass and went back to town and again explained to the car insurance company how I had broken the back window, again.

Sunday Confession.

Many years ago, maybe back in 1986/87 or so, I lived and worked for the airlines in a place called King Salmon. Being that I was single, and no kids, the airline would send me out to stations during that stations busy time to help out. I was in King Salmon for the summer. The company provided housing for me that was on airport property. Back then, King Salmon was also an air force base. One side was civilian and the other was military.

I worked a morning shift and would get off work at about 3pm or so. I would take my dog (My first doberman Tina) for a walk around the airport. One time, while walking my dog, I heard the warning sirens go off and stopped to watch the air force scramble the aircraft out. It was very exciting, to be so close and hear and feel the powerful military jets take off. Landing was also exciting to watch as they would have to "hook" a cable laying across the runway with a drag hook to have the planes come to a stop.

The next day I got a phone call at work from the base commander, letting me know that my dog had set off alarm sensors on military ground and that protocol was for them to treat all alarms as a serious threat and the next time my dog got onto military property that they would have to shoot her. He was very nice about it. Just did not want my dog making them take to the sky's!

I had been walking her in that area for a few weeks, she had just never wondered that close to the alarms and there were no signs warning that they were there. Which make sense, if bad guys were sneaking up, you would not want to point out the security system!

I started taking my dog for her walks in a different place.

Sunday Confessions

Remember a few days ago I was whining telling you all about how all the animals were getting on my nerves? Well, the baby goats are really stepping on the few that I have left. I am weaning them, and they do not like that, they let me know that they are HUNGRY whenever I go outside.

A few nights after that I had a dream. In this dream I was picking up the baby goats by their necks and swinging them in a tight, fast circle, then I would release them. In a nice long arch, off they would go, sailing in the air, then they would land some distance from me. (Somehow, they did not get hurt when they landed.)

The next morning, after I woke up, I felt very guilty that I was slinging my baby goats, so I was extra nice to them. I gave them extra pets while I was checking out their sweet little necks, wondering if you can really sling a goat.

Sunday Confession

A long time ago, in a land far far away (20 plus years ago and in Dutch Harbor AK) I worked for an airline called AirPac. was a ticket agent and on my birthday my co-workers all got together and rented a truck for me. You need to understand that most of us did not have cars and we walked or hitched or used the company car (Using the company car is a whole other confession!)

I got off work and got into the truck and a ramper wanted to me to give him a ride into town, no problem! This is Dutch Harbor we are talking about and any reason is a good reason to go "do" something! He had a gun, I think it was a 22 pistol and we were on a back road and he started to shoot at sea gulls. He got so into shooting the gulls that as he was tracking one, he brought the gun inside the truck and shot the gull through the front window! In my rental truck! Put a small hole in it! He was really sorry about that!

I had to turn the truck in the next day and what was I going to do about the hole in the window? I did not have money to pay nor did he. When I turned the truck in I played dumb, big time dumb! The asked about the hole and I said "was there when I got the truck" They said Okay, and that was that.

Yep, I lied! I did feel guilty for a bit but I got over it.

Sunday Confessions.

See this man? I told him that he was a liar! I said it right to his face.

Many years ago while working for the airline we had a charter for General Noman Schwarzkopf. He and a group of friend were going to a fishing camp.

I had to write down all the names and bag weights and also their body weights. When I asked the General how much he weighed he ignored me. I was calling him "sir" He was not ignoring me on purpose but "sir" was not his name! When I said "General" he turned his head and asked "Yes mam?" I told him that I needed to know how much he weighed. He looked me in the eye and said "180lbs" I looked him up, I looked him down. That's when I called him a liar. I told him that I know how much I weighed and I knew for a fact that he did not weigh 180lbs! Tell the truth! He laughed and said that 180 was his dream weight but that was not going to ever happen. After a few minutes the weight and balance for the plane was done and he shook my hand and said thanks for the help and they were off.

So I have called a 4 star, retired General a liar. And was not court marshalled for it.

Undaysay onfessioncay

I'm not sure if this really qualifies as a confession, maybe more of a dumb kid thing. But then, don't all kids do dumb things? A few post back I had mentioned that I had to get in front of my class and "share" a learning experience that I had when I was a kid in school. I told the story about how my third grade teacher did not like me. I have been thinking about that. I may have not been the easiest kid in the class. I don't remember being a bad kid, but I do remember taking a spelling test that the teacher gave me a big fat red F on it!

She just did not appreciate the new found skill I had in learning a second language! I had learned
PIG LATIN! It was not just the spelling test, I also did my some of my class work in my new language and if I remember right, I may have spoken this new language for a short time. After getting my F and a talking to, I gave up. I went back to plain boring English.


Did you know that you can get English translated to Pig Latin on the Internet? I decided not to do this post in Pig Latin. I was going to link to is so that you could get it translated but as you can see I did not go that route. You all might have given me a big fat red F if I had!

Sunday confession.

I wish I had a picture for this Sunday Confession. At my old job in Alaska I worked at the main office. It was a combination of hanger and office space. I worked on the main floor next to the hanger. There is a very nice marble and glass stairway in the lobby going up to the second floor.





I worked weekends and being that I sometimes work 10 to 12 hour shifts I would bring my dog to work. (That was OK) On this day I had brought a green tennis ball for Abby and I was tossing it down the long hallway and she would tear after it and bring it back. I went to use the restroom and to do that you had to go though the lobby. Abby followed me and on the way back I thought to myself "Self, you should toss that green tennis ball up and over the glass railing and see if your very smart dog will run up the stairs and get that ball" So I did.

Did I tell you that I was always picked last for softball? Well, I tossed the ball hard so that I would get it up and over and it went straight and SMACKED into the glass part. Can you believe it? I missed! I shattered the glass but it was safety glass so it had a spider web look. It was the weekend, nobody was around, nobody saw......What to do?! I did the right thing. I went up into the Directors office and left a detailed note with a picture drawing how it all went down, saying that I broke the glass and take it out of my pay check.

I was off for the next two days. ( The director was still out of town ) and when I came back to work the talk was about how that earthquake we had over the weekend must have twisted the staircase and caused the glass to break. I thought for a second that I should go get my note back, but I didn't (That would have been wrong) I did not end up paying for it as the director liked my note, it made him laugh.





I learned my lesson. I never tossed a green tennis ball up the stairs again.

Sunday Confession.

My friend Kellie got pulled over a few days ago for running a yellow light ( Cop said red, Kellie says yellow ) That got me to thinking of all the times I have been pulled over or questioned by cops. ( 7 times, I think )

One of the times I was lucky that I did not get a ticket or worse. I have a problem in that sometimes I have a smart mouth. And it came out with a cop. But first you need the set up.

I had to go to the Post Office and check my sisters mail box as I was watching her house for her. It was late at night but this Post Office was open 24/7. You could get to your mail box but that was all. When I say late, I think it was 10pm or later. There were no cars in the parking lot so when I pulled into the parking lot, I pulled my truck along side the curb and took up 3 parking spots ( 2 were handicap and there were about 5 more on the other side on the entrance ) I didn't want to have to back up, just do a wide circle.
I left my truck running, went inside, got the mail and when I came out there was a cop car pulled up along side my truck and he was waiting for me.

The cop started to lecture me about how wrong I was to have parked in a handicap parking spot and was going on about how bad that was of me. I interrupted him and told him that I was 37 years old and that only my dad could lecture me! I also told him that I made the conscious decision to pull my truck over all handicap spots as that it was after 10pm and I did not think that there would be a rush of handicap people wanting to use the P.O. this late. Either give me a ticket or not. But do not lecture me anymore.

I think that he was flabbergasted by what I said. He did not give me a ticket. Yes, I know I was wrong about the parking but nobody but my dad can lecture me and that's that.

Sunday Confession.

The following still makes me cringe.


Many years ago ( 15? ) I was called into jury duty. This was a case of 2 men being accused by the State of Alaska of selling drugs. I was one of the 50 people sitting there as they would call your name, ask all those questions and then they would keep you or dismiss you.
They got their 12 jurors and now needed the 13th juror. We had been there for about 6 hours or so? Long enough that we had had a lunch break. There was only about 10 of us left. They called people up and would dismiss them. Now there is about 3 of us left. They call my name. I'm kind of looking forward to being on a jury. I never have been on one before and hey, it gets me out of work! That alone is well worth it! They ask their questions and so far so good.

But wait! Why are the 2 men being accused talking to their lawyers and pointing to me? (Why? Why?) They keep it up! Their lawyer goes up to the Judge and they have a conference. They all keep looking at me and pointing! ( Why? Why?) I'm thinking to myself, What have I done that these 2 drug dealers would know me? I don't buy or sell drugs?( WHY ARE THE LOOKING AT ME! ) I'm thinking real hard now. I start to think about my ex-boyfriend (loser) He knew all about the drug culture ( In other words, he bought and sold drugs, hey, I said that he was a loser! ) That's the only thing that I can think that maybe, somehow that that is why they (STOP POINTING AT ME! ) are having this big conference about me. By this time all the lawyers are up at the judges bench. I'm about ready to puke.

The judge clears his throat and and ask me " Young lady, do you know the 2 men that are sitting over there? and I say " No, but I'm pretty sure that my ex-boyfriend bought drugs from them."
All the lawyers groaned, the judge tosses his pen in the air and pushed his paper work on his desk to the side. They all started talking at the same time. The judge banged his little hammer thing on the desk and said that everybody, but me, was free to go, they were all dismissed from this trial and thanks for the time that they had spent here today.

When the room was cleared the judge again asked me if I knew the 2 men. I said no, but I do remember that my ex had talked about buying drugs and used their names. And that's the only thing that I can think of. The judge said that that's not why the 2 men accused recognized me.
A few years ago they worked at the airport doing janitorial work and they recognized me from working at one of the ticket counters back then.

I never have been called back for jury duty. I believe that there is a big red check mark by my name!

Sunday Confession.

Have you ever been poor? I have been poor poor. Yes, I could have called up Mom and Dad and

they would have helped out but then I would have had to listen to Dad and the lecture and my sister and I had way, way to much pride for that.



Way back in 1982 my sister Patty (PAKART) and I drove to AZ. We both worked in fish canneries in AK and thought that working in the broccoli fields in Yuma AZ sounded like a good ideal.



We packed up my car and headed out. That car broke down in Circle MT and I junked that car and bought a boat. Also called a Chevy Impala. That ate up a lot of my cash that we were going to live on.



By the time we got to Yuma, rented the dumpy trailer, got hooked up with utilities we didn't have much left over. And the jobs fell though. We were not going to be working in the fields.

We didn't have money to put gas in the car but we did have a bike. So each day one of us would take the bike and ride into Yuma and look for a job and follow up on jobs.



Our money pile got smaller and smaller. I sold my Sony Walkman for 5 bucks and with that I bought a dozen eggs, loaf of bread, a bunch of ramen noddle soup ( which we would water down! ) and a small jar of mayo. That was it for money. We had no more and no jobs.



On Patty's day of riding the bike I would walk into town and go to the library and get books and stuff. Well, they were going to have a some kind of " appreciation day " with FOOD in a few days. I planned on being there.



The day came and there I was. This was kind of a hoity toity thing. I remember that they were all dressed up and there was art around. I was there in jeans and t-shirt, hot and hungry as I had just walked about 4 miles to get there.



They had fancy meat trays, cheese trays, bread trays and dessert trays. Also wine and other soft drinks. I kept a low profile and got a plate and loaded up and went to a quite corner and ate. Went back for seconds and when all done I snuck out. It was nice to be full, and on good food. Not watered down soup!



When I got home Patty was also home from her day of looking for a job and found one! She was going to start the next day as a waitress at the J.C. Penny Coffee shop. Our money problems were getting solved.

Sunday Confession.

At my old job in Alaska, when I worked for an airline I had worked in many departments. For awhile I was a ticket agent.

One of the types of aircraft that we had was a Cessna Conquest. It sat 8 passengers if you had a copilot or 9 without a copilot. So it was a tight fit if the flight was full. Also we had some flights that lasted for 3 hours.

One of the job of a ticket agent was that before the flight was boarded I would look at all the passengers and take their hand carry away if I didn't think that it would fit. ( This aircraft had no over head bins)

Well on this one day the flight that was going to an island called Saint Paul ( 3 hour flight ) was full. There was a passenger that had a box that was about 1 and 1/2 by 1 1/2 feet. I went to him and advised him that there was no overhead bin and that I needed to take the box from him. He said that he had fish in the box. I said " Not a problem" Besides being a small plane, the nose of the aircraft was also a luggage compartment that was not pressurised nor heated. And at cruising altitude it could get to -50 in the nose. Knowing that the box had fish in it, I gave it to a ramper and said "Put this in the nose as its fish and that way it will frozen."

Well, imagine the passengers surprise when he got off the airplane in Saint Paul and when he went to look at his fish he had bags of frozen guppies, angle fish and sword tails! I had just assumed that his fish was some kind of salmon or halibut. Well, I assumed wrong. We had a good laugh and we went and bought him new fish and made sure that the box was marked "LIVE FISH DO NOT FREEZE! "

Sunday Confession.

I'm not sure about the law but I think that the statue of limitations has gone by. I jokes. I'm not that worried about the law as I'm not really sure if the following was that illegal or not. It probably was but also probably low on the scale of wrong doing.

A long long time ago in a land far far away ( Dutch Harbor, Alaska) I was a, I'm not really sure what I would be called. A bookie? A bookie runner? How it started was that a friend of mine collected money for a bookie ( Is that what they are called?) for football games. My friend was going on vacation for a few weeks and somebody needed to collect the money and the slips with what they thought the score would be and call it in to "Vinny" and then also send the money in.

I ended up doing that for 2 weeks. People would come up to me and ask for a sheet and then they would bring it back to me filled out with their picks. I would pass out and collect them all week long and then on Saturday night I would make the phone call and tell "Vinny" the picks.
I can't remember how I sent the money but I must have as I have never had my knees broken! I do remember that I would have a huge wad of cash on hand by Saturday!

This was over 20 years ago. I can't remember how the guys got paid if they had good picks? This was Dutch Harbor so maybe there was a lag time and when my friend got back she did the pay outs?

So I think that that was my little foray into organized crime? I'm not really sure. What do you think?

Sunday confession.

A long time ago, in a far away land (Dillingham Alaska) I had a motorcycle. It was a Honda CB250. It was a good bike. I bought it in Anchorage from a pilot that I worked with and when I moved, I had it shipped to me. I lost the key to it so I had to twist the ignition wires together to get it started till a friend put alligator clips on it so then I just had to hook them together. Sometimes on my day off I would get up real early and go up the road that went to the lakes with my .22 rifle to go bird hunting. In the early am they would be on the gravel road eating gravel and they would spook and fly off and then I would follow them and shoot them. I was a pretty good shot. I soon had a freezer full of them. But that's not the confession.

I think for most riders the fear of tipping your bike over is a big one. And yep, I tipped my bike over on myself. The worst part was that I did it at a stop sign waiting for a small traffic jam.

I pulled up to the intersection and being that I was cool on my bike, I completely forgot and did not put my feet down and boom! Down I went. There were about 5 cars at this intersection and they all saw it happen. One guy rolled down his window and asked it I was OK. By that time I was up and trying to get the bike back up. It weighed about 280lbs. (Good thing I'm not frail) I told him that I was OK and got the bike up and went to work. By the time I got home later I had some nice bruises on my leg and tummy where the handle bars hit me. Good thing I didn't get a burn from the exhaust pipe.

You ever do something boneheaded like that in front of others?

What I learned.

I learned a few years ago that sticking a Bic pen into a fan is not a good ideal! A pencil? Now that's OK. A pencil will break off but a Bic pen will break the fan blades and broken fan blades are going pretty gosh darn fast and they will break the "cage" and "stuff" will go whizzing around the office. ( The things I do in the name of science, I have a very curious mind ) Yes, I went out and bought a new fan. I am very responsible that way.

So last night as I was watching TV and I had turned off the A/C. I had my floor fan going.
I heard a very odd "thiped thiped" noise and before I knew it, a big old moth got sucked into the intake side of the fan and got spit out on the other side. He got de-winged. It was kind of gross to see a moth body with no wings. I felt bad, more cause I was laughing at and not really feeling bad for the moth. Does that make me a bad person?


You want to know another thing I learned? That the perfume page thing that comes in a lot of magazines burns rather nicely and smells real pretty. Also you should not burn them while you're at work. They will leave a scorched mark on the floor and maybe somebody will see that and wonder why there is a burn mark on the floor. And you will need to play dumb. What?! They can't fire me, I no longer work there and it was all in the name of science.

F.Y.I. I was really a good employee. They miss me at my old job.

Sunday confessions.

Have you ever done something, that while you're doing it you know it's not a good ideal?
I sure have. It was back when I was 17 or 18. I was with some friends in their car and why we had gum balls I don't know, but we had a handful of them. I don't even have the excuse that it was a dare but I put a gum ball up my nose! ( Don't ask why, I tell ya, I don't know why! ) We all laughed and I blew my nose. Gum ball did not come out. Gum ball was stuck! By that time my friends were helpless with laughter and I was getting worried. I did not want to go to the emergency room at my age and explain why I had put a gum ball up my nose. Also I now had blue snot coming out my nose as I had been pushing and poking at the gum ball. I was finally able to spread my right nostril and put a finger on left one and blow a hard sharp blow. Plop! Out came the blue gum ball. Live and learn, I have never put a gum ball up my nose since then.

So, you ever do anything that stupid?

Sunday confessions.

I have a headache today. I had a hard time getting my rear in gear. It was so bad that I nodded off in church today. But then, the sermon wasn't for me. When I got home I took a 20 minute nap and woke up with the same headache. I did some weeding and planted the plants that I got yesterday. I had to as my headache was all my own fault.

My name is Aunt Krissy and I am an addict. I'm addicted to HULU. There, I said it. But the confession part is what I have been watching and staying up late at night for.

Please don't think any less of me. O.K.? I have now finished Season 1 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I started watching the show up in Alaska. I only watched half of season 6 and all of season 7 up in Alaska and I was not going to spend money to get other episodes on DVD's. When I found out that HULU had seasons 1,2 and 3 and you can watch them all for FREE that's what I did. Tonight I will start season 2.

That's not all that I have been watching on HULU. I have also been watching Starsky and Hutch.

You can come and join my support group for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We can talk about Spike versus Angel. See, I never understood why Buffy had a thing for Angel. Now I do. I still like Spike better. And I am not happy with how the series ended. That's all I will say about that.

Go give HULU a look. You can also watch movies for free. I know because I have done that a few times.

Sunday confessions on Tuesday.

Being that I still have no computer at home and was also gone over the weekend I was unable to post a Sunday confession. So I'm going to confess on a Tuesday.

Do you have a nick name? I do. I can hear my Mom already saying "No Krissy No" but it's a confession so I have to confess.

My nick name is "One sock Kris" Do I need to say more? Oh, I feel the need to say more!

I like to think that I have a cast iron stomach and I do, it's my digestive track that is wimpy.
I have a hard time going for a walk without making some kind of stop. And if I for some reason don't have some TP or PT with me then, you guessed it, I use a sock. Hey, a girls got to do what a girl needs to do.

One time I was walking my dog on a bike path in Anchorage early in the morning and I felt that rumble in my lower tummy. I was to far along the path to make it back to the truck where supplies where at. I, thank God, was wearing socks. I walked off into the woods and found the spot. ( Early morning like 6.30a, nobody was about) and did what I needed to do and tossed the sock over the cliff. I started to pull up my pants, CRAP! Right there about 20 feet away was a moose! I quickly pulled them up and I had to back track quite a bit to get to the path. I was on the path and CRAP! I did not have my truck keys with me, CRAP! I had left them back where I had done the deed, but now I knew that there was a moose there. What to do, what to do? Well, I walked back into the woods, keeping an eye on the moose as she had moved a little bit. Do you know how hard it is to find 3 keys on a ring in the wood all the while keeping an eye out on the moose? It all started to look the same. Then I saw it. Yep, I spotted it, my sock got hung up on a branch and did not go over the cliff! Yes! I knew my keys were close. I looked for about 5 more minutes and found them. Had to once again go around the moose to get back on the bike path. So an hour walk turned into about an 2 hour walk.

As I was walking back to the truck my tummy rumbled again. I ignored it and drove home fast.

Do you have a nick name? You ever been caught with your pants down?

Sorry Mom that I used the word Crap 3 times. ( Now 4 times.)

Sunday Confessions, and a helpful hint.

If you have been reading this blog then you know that I have been to jail. I was thinking about that and I realizes that I started my life of crime at a tender age of 3rd grade.

In 3rd grade I shoplifted! ( Sorry Mom ) The thing is, I didn't shoplift anything good like candy. No, I stole a eraser! Oh, very daring of me. The thing of it was that I felt so guilty that I had to hide the eraser. I was worried that somebody might ask me where I got it and I didn't want to lie (lying is wrong!) so I could not use it.

I felt so guilty, that the following Saturday I went to the store that I took it from and gave it back. I didn't give it to an adult. I put it back in the bin of erasers. That in itself was nerve wracking! What if I got caught with the eraser now and nobody would believe that I was returning it?

That whole week of having stolen goods was not worth the guilt that I felt. It cured me of stealing.

Well, kind of. I have to admit that I stole toilet paper from work one time ( OK, maybe a few times! Would you stop harassing me? Just let it go!) when I was broke and knew I was out of TP at home or I didn't want to stop and buy some. I know, that's very bad of me. And really, I feel no guilt for that. I kind of felt like that the company owed me a little something something for all that I did off the clock that I didn't get paid for. ( Also you can't return used TP! So there! )



The question I have for you is. What bad thing did you do as a kid?



And the helpful hint. Do not eat a quart of fresh strawberries in one sitting. They were on sale for $1.50! They smelled good, no mold and they all looked nice so I bought them. Then when I got home I hulled them and cut them up and within 2 hours I had downed them all. Yummy! But oh my tummy. But, I had fruit, just didn't stay in my system for long. More like I rented the strawberries. Sorry, maybe that was a TMI thing.